So it’s all about the writing still, as it should be. I am happy to report that in this department, things are on the up!
My laptop and I are currently sharing a large oak table in a room where only the sound of the clacking keys break the silence. My chair promotes good posture; there is enough room for my knees to slot in underneath the table without obstruction. The fish are jumping; the cotton is high... so let’s get on with the blog.
In the last post, Majik was talking about writer’s block. Thankfully, with a backlog of ideas in my notebook, and a few rough drafts of stories that I wish to complete, finding inspiration is not currently my problem.
It is always a popular topic, lots of bloggers share their little tips and tricks as to how they conquer the blank page. Some use a writing prompt, others like to make fodder of news stories, some like to raid their personal diaries, they all sound like fair enough methods. Although I haven’t used any of them, I'm not opposed to trying one or two in the future. Even borrowing ideas from other people’s work seems to be legitimate (within reason of course.)
Yesterday though, I did come across one method that doesn’t sit right with me. In a book on writing short stories by a bloke called Iain Pattison, he suggests the following in a chapter on finding story ideas....
“It’s amazing how you can get a quirky new story idea from playing around with puns.
Quiche of Death – a sinister restaurant?
Son and Hair – a row over who is going to inherit the family barber shop?”
Eww
To be fair to the author, this idea is number 9 in a list of 10, so I doubt he holds too much stock by it. Even so, I found the very notion quite repugnant.
First and foremostly, it seems like a fast route to producing some very bad writing (or is that just me?)
Secondly, does it not take away from the very essence of a good pun? We conjure them up to feel smug and clever. Doing it backwards takes those elements away, so you’re not left with anything at all really. It’s not as if puns are funny, so what’s the point in producing them artificially like this?
I should explain that I am a big fan of puns, and appreciate coming across a good one. To me, this is sacrilege.
My world has been turned upside down, I shall now be suspicious that the newspaper reporter whose wit I am worshipping did not ingeniously fashion some words to fit a situation; rather he just thought of a quirky headline, and then went out to synthesize some semi-plausible news that would correspond.
So on that note, here are some short stories that I will definately not be writing.
Writer’s Cock – An erotic tale about an author who doesn’t get his latest book started because he spends too much time chasing the girls.
Beware of Geeks Bearing Gifts – A birthday present that a young lady receives from her computer programmer boyfriend leads to all sorts of unforeseen consequences.
A Cougher You Can’t Refuse - A member of an organised crime gang juggles his time between collecting protection money and taking his bronchitis medicine.
Would anyone like to share what stories they won't be writing?
7 comments:
hi! i found your blog at entrecard and i just wanted to see how it looks like, so here i am!
i am nobe, and you can find me at the following addresses. hope you can drop by sometime. :)
www.deariago.blogspot.com
www.nobe112681.blogspot.com
Hi,
Your post about bad writing prompts cracked me up. Indeed, there should be a collection somewhere of Really Bad Writing Ideas.
I offer a free writing exercise every week on my website. I hope these exercises fall into the "fabulous" category and not in the "Really Bad Writing Ideas" category. Come by, and then post your result or comments on the exercise on my blog.
Happy writing.
Sarah Van Arsdale
Atlantic Writers' Workshop
--by writers, for writers--
www.atlanticwritersworkshop.org
nobe - Cheers for dropping by. Hope you get lots of good things out of Entrecard, it's a great tool.
sarah - I think you're right. Such a collection would be quite funny. The Cougher you can't Refuse. would be my contribution to its archives. (It's my favourite)
Good luck with the workshop, I'll swing by if I can.
Awwww, I want to see a story about 'Geeks Bearing Gifts' (although to be honest, I'm not sure it hasn't been done before).
I like puns, generally. But I think there's a time and a place. And unless you're writing comedy or about hairdressing salons (c.f. my last post entitled 'Aaargh, the horror' plus a list of salon pun-names in Good Omens), most stories generally aren't the place. :)
Geeks bearing gifts has very probably been done before, I think you are right Catherine.
No doubt in various forms as a terribly contrived joke.
Ugh, I hate those jokes, where they so obviously start from the punchline and work backwards. I'm a prawn again Christian....look at that S car go.
or... The koala tea of Mercy is not strained - that's a tortuous one. :)
It is indeed the funniest post I’ve ever read. You should write comics, it suites you well. I can’t understand why people find it hard to write. If you have good imagination, you can write everything you want. I’ve just finished write a short story about coffee cups. From something that simple, I managed to make a story. Good for me!! It came out really funny. My son wants me to read him this every night before sleeping.
Post a Comment